Could this be you:
- Do you stand against the wall quietly watching others as they entertain and act the life of the party?
- Do you think to yourself, “I wish I had the confidence to laugh and talk to everyone so freely and be so comfortable in front of a room full of people.”
- Do you struggle to have the courage to talk to people in social settings as well as the fear of what people think of you when you meet them?
- Do you envy the confidence of some people as they effortlessly meet others and seem so in control and you would do anything to have that ability.
Well, I will tell you something you may not be aware of, most of us all share in the same fears you do, some people are just better at hiding it than others.
Everyone wants to be liked!
There are different levels of this of course, but the fact remains that everyone has a touch of the same little voice in them that makes them want others to like them and to be excepted. When you realize that they really feel the same fear even if it is to a lower level, and they would probably enjoy having you take the lead and introduce yourself first.
When people meet me they talk about how confident I am and how great I am when I am in a large group of people. I actually had to work cocktail parties in sales for years. What most of these people would be surprised at is that I have the same fears they do.
- I am uncomfortable entering a large room and having people immediately watch me.
- I worry that I might trip or do something wrong and make a fool out of myself.
- I have the same uncomfortable feeling when I go up to meet new people that anyone else may have, but I have learned a few secrets that I will share with you to make it all much easier.
A few secrets to help you overcome your shyness
- Smile at people, it immediately makes people feel at ease and makes you look approachable.
- Take the initiative to introduce yourself , do it immediately when you are standing next to someone, the sooner the easier it is. It is a great way to break the ice and start a conversation, and let’s face it someone has to do it.
- Don’t try to impress people. When people ask you about yourself during your initial conversation, sometime in your nervous state you feel like you need to impress them, don’t. A humble and accurate description is all that is needed. You will make a far better impression than if you spent your time trying to toot your own horn!
- Make sure you ask the other person about themselves. Most people enjoy talking about themselves and it will take the pressure off of you. Be sure to be a good listener and actually be interested in what they are saying. Good listeners make great impressions and people immediately like them.
- Don’t be judgmental of the person you are talking to and try and keep an open mind. Remember they may be just as nervous as you are and they may be trying to impress you. You also never know what has gone on in that person’s life that day, so you are only getting a brief glimpse of them, just as they are of you. Sometimes it may take a couple of opportunities of being around someone to really get to know them.
- A sincere compliment goes a long way. Notice the word “sincere,”you should never make something up. If you notice something you like about someone, or how something looks on them absolutely tell them. Everyone enjoys hearing something nice. An example would be ” that really is a great color on you,”or “I loved the point you brought up with Sally about the SPCA it is one of my favorite charities.”
- Include others. If someone else comes up to you be sure to include them and start the introductions, be the leader, introduce yourself and your new friend. You now are in charge of the group the host and you do not need to lead any conversations, you just took the initiative to say hello and introduce people. Very simple, and it all started with a smile!
Need help overcoming shyness contact [email protected]
Deni Abbie